Love as Self-Expression: A Return to the True Self
- The Human Array
- Jul 18
- 5 min read
In the words of Shuang-Min Chang, "Love isn’t something we give or receive — it’s who we are." Explore self-love, boundaries, healing, and creative expression as a path back to your true self.
In our first episode of a brand new series, Catalyst Spotlight, Carrie Allen (founder of The Human Array) sat down with Shuang-Min Chang (The Human Array Catalyst and founder of S.M.C. Lifestyle Coaching) on The Great Connect podcast, where Shuang-Min Chang offered a radical redefinition of love.
Sharing her journey from extreme introversion to intuitive coach, Shuang-Min explores how love becomes a daily practice of self-remembrance — especially in moments of tension, family triggers, and emotional upheaval. Here, we unpack her insights on boundaries as self-love, creativity as healing, and the power of turning wounds into connection.
Love Isn’t a Feeling — It’s a Way of Being
At its core, love is the full, unfiltered expression of who we truly are. Every word, every boundary, every creative act — it all stems from one of two places: love or fear.
And so, the real question becomes: What are you creating from?
Living in alignment with love means choosing self-truth over self-silencing. Presence over people-pleasing. Clarity over performance. Not because it’s easy — but because it’s the only way to live in wholeness.
Love is who we are. Everything we create is an expression of love or separation from love. —Shuang-Min Chang
Boundaries as a Form of Self-Respect
One of the most powerful expressions of love is the ability to set clear boundaries — not to push people away, but to protect what’s sacred within. Especially in close relationships or family dynamics, setting boundaries can bring up fear, guilt, and deep-rooted cultural conditioning.
But boundaries are not selfish. They are acts of radical self-respect.
They say: I know who I am. I know what I need. And I trust you enough to be honest with you about both.
Rather than fueling division, boundaries — when rooted in love — actually create more room for healing, understanding, and authentic connection.
Setting boundaries is learning to love ourselves. —Shuang-Min Chang
Healing Triggers with Presence and Compassion
When we’re triggered by those we love, it’s easy to fall into cycles of blame, withdrawal, or self-judgment. But healing doesn’t come from pushing discomfort away. It comes from making space for it, acknowledging the wound underneath, and remembering that love can still exist even when things feel hard.
There’s a choice, in every moment, to pause. To breathe. To witness our triggers rather than become them.
This doesn’t mean tolerating harm. It means creating room within ourselves to feel what’s true, respond instead of react, and remember that we can be in relationship and hold our center.
How I root myself in love is to acknowledge there is a wound in me, and it has all the right to be there. I remind myself that my family actually loves me, and I acted out because I was triggered. I don't judge or criticize myself in the moment. I can choose to heal right there. —Shuang-Min Chang
The Role of Creativity in Self-Regulation
Creative expression — whether painting, dancing, writing, or singing — is a powerful way to reconnect with the self. When life feels chaotic or relationships become overwhelming, creative rituals offer a safe place to land. A place where emotions move, energy shifts, and the heart speaks.
But creative blocks often stem from fear: fear of being seen, fear of not doing it “right,” or fear of what might come up in the process. The invitation is to create anyway. To let art become a mirror — not of perfection, but of presence.
Because when we express ourselves freely, we regulate ourselves naturally.
We remember who we are.
We reconnect with our inner compass.
When I'm in that flow, I'm completely open... And when we are relaxed, we are better regulated, psychologically, mentally, neurologically. And so actually things get done quicker and better. —Shuang-Min Chang
Daily Practices for Cultivating Self-Love
Self-love isn’t a one-time realization. It’s a lived, daily practice — one that often starts small:
Appreciation Lists: Each day, name 3–5 things you appreciate about yourself. Not just accomplishments, but qualities — your patience, your curiosity, your capacity to start again.
Meditation with Meaning: Sit with an object, memory, or sensation that brings joy. Let that feeling of love grow within you, until it becomes something you can carry into the rest of your day.
Loving Mantras: Whisper or write the words “I love you” to yourself. Say it even if it feels awkward. Say it especially when it feels far away. Repetition becomes remembrance.
These rituals aren’t about fixing. They’re about returning. They help us reclaim a relationship with ourselves that’s rooted not in lack, but in wholeness.
Write appreciation lists about yourself every single day, no matter what. Find something to appreciate about yourself, especially those small things. —Shuang-Min Chang
Redefining Success
Love and success aren’t separate. True success begins with alignment — with knowing yourself so clearly that your life becomes an extension of your values, not a reaction to external pressure.
Success, then, isn’t about status or speed.
It’s about integrity.
It’s about creating from the inside out.
When we define success on our own terms — through connection, creative flow, emotional sovereignty, and self-respect — we begin to experience a deeper kind of fulfillment. One that doesn’t require constant striving, but instead arises from inner congruence.
This is the new paradigm of love.
Not something to prove.
Not something to earn.
But something to embody — moment by moment, choice by choice.
Love as self-expression isn’t a luxury. It’s the foundation. For wellbeing. For relationships. For a life that actually feels like yours.
Remember when we are loved that powerfully, or we love something so powerfully — how do we feel inside? We feel invincible. Now imagine taking that love and putting it in your heart. The love is in you, and if we can connect to it, we are invincible all the time. —Shuang-Min Chang
Connect With Shuang-Min Chang
Shuang-Min Chang is an intuitive coach guiding high-achievers through EQ, energy work, and purpose-aligned living. To connect with Shuang-Min and learn more about her soul-led approach to success, self-trust, and emotional healing, find her inside The Human Array community.
More to Explore
🎧 Listen to the full episode of Catalyst Spotlight: Shuang-Min Chang on How to Love Yourself Unconditionally on The Great Connect podcast, or watch the live recording on YouTube.
🗺️ Map Success Inside Out with Shuang-Min's self-guided program designed for founders and execs ready to reconnect with what truly matters — and lead from within.
🧭 Take our free 5-min quiz and get personalized recommendations that meet you where you are and support your unique wellbeing journey.
🗓️ Book a complimentary Wellbeing Consult to help you find clarity on your next steps for wellbeing.
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