Holiday Overwhelm Is Real—Here’s How to Move Through It
- The Human Array
- Dec 16, 2025
- 4 min read
Feeling holiday overwhelm already? This therapist-inspired guide explores boundaries, nervous system care, and realistic self-care tools to help you navigate the season without burning out.
A Season That Looks Good vs. A Season That Feels Good
This week’s blog is inspired by a recent episode of The Great Connect podcast featuring therapist and wellness educator Chloë Bean—a trusted voice in burnout recovery, boundary work, and nervous-system–informed mental health.
In the conversation, Chloë names what so many people quietly feel every December: the holidays can be meaningful and overwhelming.
The pressure to show up, keep up, and hold it all together often collides with real-life constraints, complicated family dynamics, and nervous systems that are already stretched thin.
If you’ve ever wondered why the season that’s supposed to feel magical instead feels exhausting, you’re not broken—you’re human.
Why Holiday Overwhelm Hits So Hard
Holiday overwhelm isn’t just about a busy calendar. It’s the layering of emotional labor, expectations, comparison, and unresolved family patterns—all compressed into a few short weeks.
Chloë explains that this time of year tends to amplify:
People-pleasing habits
Old relational roles you thought you’d outgrown
A sense that you’re “doing it wrong” if you’re not enjoying every moment
Your nervous system doesn’t distinguish between “good stress” and “bad stress.” It just registers load. And for many people, December is a perfect storm.
"Festive Comparison Syndrome" Is a Nervous System Issue
One standout concept from the episode is festive comparison syndrome—that creeping sense that everyone else’s holidays look more joyful, more meaningful, more put-together than yours.
Scrolling through curated highlight reels while navigating your own messy reality can quietly dysregulate your nervous system. Comparison fuels urgency, self-criticism, and the feeling that you should be doing more.
Chloë’s reframe is simple but powerful: your holiday does not need to look like anyone else’s to be valid.
Regulation begins when you stop measuring your inner experience against someone else’s outer performance.
Somatic Tools for Holiday Anxiety (That Actually Work)
When anxiety spikes—at the dinner table, in the car, or mid-conversation—you don’t always have the capacity for long breathing practices or meditation apps.
Chloë shares in-the-moment somatic tools designed for real life:
Grounding through physical sensation (temperature, texture, weight)
Gentle orienting—looking around the room to remind your body you’re safe now
Letting your body move subtly instead of forcing stillness
These practices meet your nervous system where it is, instead of asking it to behave.
Setting Boundaries Without Guilt (or Drama)
One of the most practical parts of the conversation centers on boundaries—especially the kind that feel hardest during the holidays.
Boundaries don’t have to be harsh or over-explained. According to Chloë, clarity is often kinder than over-functioning.
Examples sound like:
“I’m not able to do three gatherings this year.”
“We’ll be staying home Christmas morning.”
“I’m taking a quieter approach to gifts this season.”
You’re not responsible for managing everyone else’s emotions about your limits.
Boundaries protect your nervous system so you can actually participate in the season, not just survive it.
A More Honest Take on Holiday Self-Care
Holiday self-care doesn’t need to be performative. It doesn’t have to look like elaborate routines or aesthetic rituals.
Sometimes it looks like:
Saying no without a backup explanation
Eating the pie without spiraling
Taking the nap instead of pushing through
Letting “good enough” be enough
As Chloë reminds listeners: rest counts as productivity, especially in a season that asks so much of you.
Creating a Holiday That Works for You
You can’t control the season—but you can regulate through it.
This episode offers a grounded reminder that the most holistic choice isn’t perfection. It’s alignment.
A holiday that feels calmer, kinder, and more honest with your capacity is still meaningful—even if it looks different than it used to.
And your nervous system is part of the celebration, too.
Sometimes the most radical holiday plan is choosing presence over pressure—and letting holiday overwhelm stop running the show.
Chloë Bean, LMFT, is a Los Angeles–based somatic trauma therapist who helps high-achieving women move out of survival mode and back into their bodies.
She specializes in anxiety, burnout, perfectionism, people-pleasing, and complex trauma, using EMDR, Somatic Experiencing, and Internal Family
Systems to support nervous-system regulation—especially during high-stress seasons like the holidays.
Known for her grounded, refreshingly real approach, Chloë teaches women how to set guilt-free boundaries, protect their energy, and break patterns that keep them overwhelmed.
Learn more, download her free “Am I a People Pleaser?” workbook, or take her High-Functioning Burnout Quiz at chloebeantherapy.com.
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